Suvania

1. Who are you?

Firstly, I am Suvania. There is often this identity complex that one struggles with in South Africa, especially as a South African Indian. I actually tackled this very topic in my final year art exhibition entitled ZA/in and what I deduced from this exploration of identity and self is that I am foremost Suvania, then I am African, then I am female and then I am Indian. Therefore in unpacking who is Suvania. Suvania is strong, creative, resilient, ambitious, determined, and has a strong belief in being kind and paying forward.


2. What does “I AM Enough” and/or “Journey2Enough” mean to you?

I think the society we live in, we are trained and the belief is created that we are not enough. I realised that when I lost my job in 2020 due to Covid-19 at an organisation that I started my career with and had given them my 8 hardworking years. When that happened, I though that to them I was not enough and their decisions made me feel that I was not enough.
I was not enough for them to fight for or keep in the organisation. I was stripped of my job, title, income, livelihood and I had to move to another country as I was on a contract in Singapore. I also had to end my 5 year long relationship as we couldn't manage another round of long distance with my then partner living in Vietnam and me having to return to South Africa. I felt stripped of everything that I had built for myself and that made me Suvania. I was stripped of a life that I was proud that I had created for myself.
At some point once the situational depression eased, I said to myself at the beginning of 2021, you need to build your life from the ground up. You need to build that foundation for yourself again, no one else is going to do it for you. Build a life that will make you happy.
I look forward to 10 months on and I see the life I have been able to re-create for myself. I have launched a growing and successful startup, I have another startup launching in a couple of months and I recently began working at an organisation that is trailblazing in the EduTech industry and will put me ahead of my game. I feel content, I feel happy, I have grown.


3. Ancient research and psychology has shown that it is believed that our source of inadequacy, or our wound, starts very early in our childhood. What would you say is the source of your inadequacy when you were growing up and why? Or maybe it started in your adulthood. Speak to whatever makes sense to you.

I think for me, my source of feeling inadequate was never on an achievement or drive level. It was always on a physical level. I grew up around my cousin who basically played the older sister role in my life and as such we spent a lot of time together. She was and still is a strikingly beautiful woman. I often felt compared to her as she was that typical Indian beauty. She never made me feel inadequate but I felt it from others and more so from boys as we were growing up. She was the typical Indian girl that Indian guys were attracted to and I was the complete opposite. I felt I was not enough in the Indian community from a looks perspective. I was meant to feel that I had the personality and not the physical appeal. This childhood scar still haunts me, and so much so that I have made a conscious decision in adulthood to not date Indian men, as they tend to make me feel inadequate.


4. How have you conquered it?

I have decided to focus on people that make me feel good for who I am physically, mentally and emotionally. It is not so much of feeling inadequate in the Indian community, but feeling safe in who I am and therefore attracting the right energy to me.


5. I believe we live in a world that is riddled with what I call the comparison pandemic that magnifies our inadequacies rather than magnify what we already have. How do you relate to this comparison pandemic?

I relate to this very well and I have actually captured a great comparison pandemic in question 3. The comparison pandemic is debilitating. I have had to force myself to not compare and focus on centering myself and focusing on who I am and what I can bring to the table. There will always be someone smarter, prettier or thinner but no one has the rare combination of Suvania, and what makes me, me.

6. What do you practice if you do, to magnify what you have rather than contribute to the “i am not good enough narrative”

I am very fortunate to have incredible people in my life from my parents, family, friends and colleagues who help magnify for me what makes me stand out and what makes me an extra-ordinary person. In a way, these people in my life reflect back to me, the energy that I give off to them. I am able to see that beauty and glow bounce off them which in turn is reflecting the most correct magnification of myself.


7. Research has shown that women suffer from “craving of being liked” as compared to men who will rock up and do what needs to be done without considering repercussions, have you experienced that? The likability challenge? And how have you dealt with it?

I often see this play out in the workplace for me. I do crave being liked, over being disliked. But for me it is not so much about the repercussions other than I believe in being a good person. By doing good and being conscious of all people around me I am able to move and forge forward without negativity and setbacks. I find by being conscious versus being liked, or disliked I am able to have good working relations, respect and confidence in my colleagues.


8. What would you say to someone sitting at home and is feeling inadequate in whatever sphere of their life? Because what we know is the feeling of inadequacy has levels and spheres. You could be making it in your professional life but something in your personal life is not going so well and is making you feel like you are not enough? How does one transfer that feeling of being whole from one sphere to the next?

This is a really good question. It makes me reflect on my current situation where my career is building up beautifully. My mental health state is in a good place. I am getting back into my exercise and feeling good about my body but one thing that I am missing is a life partner. Some people are okay with being alone, but I choose to want to be with someone. I see the beauty in two lives coming together.
Do not even get me started on online dating. If there is anything that can make you feel inadequate it is the vapid world of online dating. It is certainly a hard one, but I tell myself that you are an amazing person who has a lot of value to add. The right person will come along in time and more often than not from experience it is when you least expect it. It is tough but I choose to focus on what is going right in my life and hopeful that when the time is right, the person I am looking for will come into my life (Like has happened before).


9. What is the one thing that you live by that helps you snap out of feeling inadequate?

I look at my life, what I have achieved and the amazing people that I call my friends and family. When I look at how rich my life experiences have been and who I have in my life I am often reminded of how much I have, then that feeling of inadequacy falls away.


10. What does courage mean to you?

Courage to me means being bold. Being fearless, challenging yourself to do something that you have never done before. Courage is being brave and having no limiting beliefs. I often say to myself, "You are born for Greatness and not Mediocrity". This statement gives me the courage to be great and to live a life that is not about mediocrity but challenging myself to be and do better than I have done before.


11. What have you learnt in your journey that has contributed to your journey to enough?

Life will always throw you curveballs and challenges. I truly believe we have been put on this Earth to learn from lessons. If we do not learn from those lessons, they will repeat themselves in our lives. So my journey to enough has taught me to embrace the lessons being thrown at me but to always be conscious of who I am, and what makes me great.


12. What would you say to your younger self?

Looks, beauty, skin colour... all of these things are not what we choose for ourselves. But what we can choose is the kind of person we want to be. Focus on the quality of the person that you are and you will attract the right things in your life.


13.What is your hope for this movement?

My hope for this movement is to help people live a life of purpose, courage, belief in themselves and to live a life of greatness and not mediocrity. Hopefully our stories can help older women and younger girls realise that they do not have to repeat the feelings of not being enough that we had experienced in our lives.

Life will always throw you curveballs and challenges. I truly believe we have been put on this Earth to learn from lessons. If we do not learn from those lessons, they will repeat themselves in our lives. So my journey to enough has taught me to embrace the lessons being thrown at me but to always be conscious of who I am, and what makes me great.

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